Stages of Development
Have you even thought about what makes you, you? What makes you different from your family? What makes you unique? The stages of development is a theory about the phases of development that talks all about the stages life including thought, judgement, and knowledge. The theory is a collection of theories about how desirable change in society is best achieved. Many believe that the way your family treats you and the way they raise you as a kid doesn't affect you because you are born the way you are. Many people think that when you are born your destiny is predetermined and that world about you and your parents have no effect on you. What influence does society have on your family and the way you develop. Society has shaped the world into what it is today and it shapes the ways in which your family influences you. The way we think and act all stems from the society we live in today. Generations throughout time have all been influenced in many different ways because of what was happening to the world around them. There are many different things that influence the development of humans, but the family dynamic is what can shape you for the better.
Children's brains process emotions differently because their brains aren't fully developed and they don't fully understand. Children don't understand the reality of the real world when they are growing up and when they finally do grow up they realize how much their perception of life has changed, for example, “Tragedy, he perceived, belonged to the ancient time, to a time when there were still privacy, love, and friendship, and when the members of a family stood by one another without needing to know the reason”1984. There was a time where the tragedy of life didn't affect you. Nobody understands how differently everyone feels their own emotions, and why others do not feel the same. Many can decipher the differences in emotions some better than others, for example, “They conclude that people everywhere recognize the same expressions for a handful of emotions: anger, disgust, sadness, enjoyment, and fear or surprise. Clear distinctions between fear and surprise expressions have appeared only among members of literate cultures, Ekman says. (Bower). Emotions are universal all across the country, you first experience emotions when you are first born. You learn new facial expressions as you grow up and learn to decipher them. When you are younger you think nothing will ever bother you, you have a sense of being invincible. That feeling soon comes to an end once you realize that, that's not how life really works. Although many kids are misunderstood about having to understand and process other emotions without being able to verbalize it, “many 3- to 5-year-olds exhibit just such a sophisticated understanding of the inner world of emotions. "Preschoolers' conceptions of people go beyond how others look externally and what they appear to be on the surface to include what people think and how they feel inside," (Bower). Everyone's Brian and the way they process emotions is different but everyone shares the common understanding of how we all feel. The way everyone processes things are very different and unique to themselves and the environment they lived in. The environment you lived in is determined by your parents and more specifically the home you grew up in. Your development as a kid starts at home, the way you act is a depiction of your parents.
There are many different types of families and many different ways families work. Nobody's family is all the same, it turns out that many children that are struggling within their families take on their ways to get attention, for example, “the emotions propelling children to seek attention can turn deadly. Kids attempt to faze parents with the vices of adolescence, including drug and alcohol use and reckless behavior. And, arguably, the suicide attempt” (Smith). Having a parental figure is important in developing; young teens and adults struggle later in life because of the loss of parental guidance. Your parents are supposed to teach you everything there is to know about life and when they fail you, you learn your mistakes young.
In today's age many believe that “Our society has a problem in providing positive youth development for all kids. In many ways, we adults give the wrong message to youth. Many adults are afraid of teens and because of this, they stop communicating with them”(Kinnamon). Communication is key when it comes to adults talking to kids in their younger age. There are families who struggle to meet the line of understanding their children; everything the child goes through starts at home and starts with the parent’s relationship with each other. If you do not have a stable life at home and can not show your kids that you can work together despite the differences, then they will never be able to understand communication; "But whether we succeed or fail in building a healthy marriage culture is clearly a matter of legitimate public concern and an issue of paramount importance if we wish to reverse the marginalization of the most vulnerable members of our society: the working class, the poor, minorities, and children"(Smith). Each and every family decides how they want to influence the people around them and the children they decide to have. Having a healthy household is key to having a healthy relationship and upbringing with your kids. Teens are dealing with many more issues than we ever had to deal with before like, “Children and youth today don't live in a "kid friendly" world. They face serious problems as never before -- problems such as substance abuse, teen pregnancy, and youth violence”(Kinnamon). With many young teens being exposed to such harsh things so young the “perfect” American family dream is crushed and so are these kids lives.
Society puts so much pressure on all types of families to look and act a specific way. in order to look and act a certain way has a real effect on people's wellbeing and is becoming more apparent now like the, “The intact, biological, married family remains the gold standard for family life in the United States, insofar as children are most likely to thrive--economically, socially and psychologically--in this family form”(Pelusi). In today's society the gold standard for the “perfect” American family should change, nobody's family is alike and that's the beauty of it. if everyones family looked and acted the same we as a society would be going down a very dark and lonely path. Parents of today's day and age need to be paying more attention to what these kids are doing because their behavior is a representation of what they are as parents. Parents need to step up and teach what their kids need to understand, for example, “We teach values by what we say, the tone of our voice, our body language, etc. The way we establish a societal norm is by teaching and demonstrating the same six values so that kids hear and see these values everywhere they go”(Kinnamon). Parents are the kids who need change in order to fix what these kids are beginning to learn. There is no such thing as a perfect family and nobody will ever achieve what society wants us to achieve.
The times have already changed and so should the standard of American society, if we want to all develop into a society where we all are proud of what the world around us and our families do to us. The way society is heading now we will never make any difference in the future of our children. Although you may not think, our families shape us into the people we become. You may see that as a good thing but it doesn't always turn out like that. As the new generation comes into being adults we must think about what types of kids we want to raise and the differences we need to make within our society. Change starters with us and start now, if we want change you can't wait until someone else decides to do it.
Works Cited
Bower, Bruce. "Getting a feel for emotions: emotional development attracts cross-cultural explorations." Science News, vol. 154, no. 12, 19 Sept. 1998, p. 190+. Gale General OneFile, link-gale-w9ba.orc.scoolaid.net/apps/doc/A21189700/ITOF?u=nysl_li_harb&sid=ITOF&xid=6caedc36. Accessed 21 Dec. 2020.
Bower, Bruce. "Preschoolers get grip on hidden emotions." Science News, vol. 152, no. 5, 2 Aug. 1997, p. 70. Gale General OneFile, link-gale-w9ba.orc.scoolaid.net/apps/doc/A19669811/ITOF?u=nysl_li_harb&sid=ITOF&xid=4e56793e. Accessed 21 Dec. 2020.
Kinnamon, Ron. "The importance of character development." Camping Magazine, vol. 76, no. 1, Jan.-Feb. 2003, p. 38+. Gale General OneFile, https://link-gale-w9ba.orc.scoolaid.net/apps/doc/A97188506/ITOF?u=nysl_li_harb&sid=ITOF&xid=02ebdb2b. Accessed 30 Oct. 2020.
Orwell, George. 1984.Signet Classics, 1977
Pelusi, Nando. "Parents and children in conflict: we may dream about unconditional love, says Nando Pelusi, Ph.D., but parental ambivalence is the more likely fact of life." Psychology Today, vol. 40, no. 1, Jan.-Feb. 2007, p. 66+. Gale General OneFile, https://link-gale-w9ba.orc.scoolaid.net/apps/doc/A169716774/ITOF?u=nysl_li_harb&sid=ITOF&xid=1cb2ae73. Accessed 8 Nov. 2020.
Smith, Curt. "Children do best when raised by their married parents." Indianapolis Business Journal, vol. 41, no. 25, 14 Aug. 2020, p. 13C. Gale General OneFile, https://link-gale-w9ba.orc.scoolaid.net/apps/doc/A633896038/ITOF?u=nysl_li_harb&sid=ITOF&xid=6e5c1ded. Accessed 1 Nov. 2020.