A SOUR sweet experience

“Yes officer, the people there told me there was a chocolate river I could see if I came!”, that’s what went through every reader's mind when they read the latest news headlines. Imagine a hyped event being such a catfish that the cops were involved due to how awful it was, well, that happened at “Willy’s Chocolate Experience” in Glasgow, Scotland after families showed up for what was expected to be a sugary Candyland experience.

In the ideal world, this event would have been a magical experience and even better for the event coordinators who would have made it around £29,750 (around $37,741.33) and gotten more GOOD press, but the lonely warehouse did fail to impress. The event was barely full of fun activities and the few things at the location in Scotland consisted of a small bouncy house, some decor, a tiny backdrop, and sad oompa loompas handing out one jelly bean per child. Talk about filling!

Kirsty Paterson was hired to take on this fairytale role, however, even the workers such as herself had major problems with the whole event. She explained to the Independent UK how she was in charge of the science lab that was conducted at the event. While doing so, she tried making it as fun as she could for the kids though she was extremely embarrassed about the whole ordeal. “I actually ended up shouting at the guy. I just said to him he’s a joke and this is like embarrassing, and how can we basically live with himself, doing this to people.” Paterson says after telling the Independent that she and the other workers were not compensated the €500 they were offered for the two days of work.

Image from the Independent of Paul Conell in as Willy Wonka

Not just the oompa loompas were upset. Paul Conell, the actor who played the man himself, Willy Wonka, at the event was equally disappointed and shocked by the outcome, expressing how he didn’t even know about what was going on behind the scenes such as the AI-generated images that were supposed to represent the experience. He expressed how he felt awful for both families and actors who had to endure this upsetting event. “It’s a night I’ll try to forget. Sadly, not only will I remember it, everyone I know will remember it too”.

The embarrassing event was directed by The House of Illuminati, who put out a public statement that all the 850 tickets bought would be refunded to the angry parents of all the sobbing children, however, it is stated by Alana Lockens, a mother who unfortunately was a victim of the experience, stated that the refund could take up to 10 working days, which is about 2 weeks which could negatively impact families who need that money. Some parents wanted to give their kids a treat so they willingly spent £35 ($44.41) just to be met with the biggest scam of the century. “‘My vision of the artistic rendition of a well-known book didn’t come to fruition. For that, I am absolutely truly and utterly sorry.’” Billy Coull, the event organizer for The House of Illuminati, said to STV News, expressing how shocked he was his vision didn’t translate how he would have liked. We contacted the House of Illuminati to speak of the event. We did not get a response back.

Willy Wonka and his oompa loompas have failed the children of today, and have lied to them not only in the aspect of future exercise events but in the magical world of unlimited chocolate and a life-changing golden ticket. As Mr.Wonka said, “Whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all if it hasn't been whipped with whips” Clearly, the event coordinators still had the audacity to claim this event was whipped cream only for it to be a sad bowl of spoiled flat cream.