The Unwinding of the Miracle: Julie Yip-William tells her story of remaining strong

I think we can all relate to Julie Yip-Williams battle with cancer in one way or another. I related to Julie’s memoir a lot a few years ago doctors found a huge tumor in my grandfather, my father tried to do as much research and showed his medical papers to doctors here since my grandfather lived in Israel and wanted a second eye, within a month he passed away. Just like Julie my grandfather was in close to the best shape of his life still doing what he loved which for him was running marathons despite his age. But he did not win his battle. I think that all of us can relate to Julie’s story her story of being stronger than cancer even in times when complete darkness takes control of all the light in her life. From the second Julie was born her life was harder than most. She was born legally blind in Vietnam during a war and any doctor that would be able to help her escaped from Vietnam. She had no hope.

 Her Grandmother who was the first to verbalize that she was legally blind (due to the white cataracts in her eyes) urged her parents to take her to an herbalist who would give her a medicine that would make her sleep for the rest of her life and never wake up. To her Chinese Grandmother, she was damaged, no one would ever love her, there was so much she would be deprived of with the lack of vision. Thankfully when Julies’ parents took her to the herbalist he said he couldn’t do it and it was against his practice. Julie moved to LA when she was 3. Her mother always dreamed of moving to LA and having better opportunities, at UCLA she had her first surgery which allowed her to see a little more than she could before.

Julie spent most of her childhood wondering why she was so unlucky. From the moment she realized she was different, she began making a list of questions that grew as she got older. Through her childhood when she couldn’t sleep she would search for the answers to her questions from a higher being. She wanted to understand. But there was no answer to her questions. By a show of hands how many of you have questions that don’t have an answer? Like what happens after we die? I’m sure whether we admit or not we want to have the answers to the unknown but just like Julie, we will never be given those answers. When Julie was young she made a deal with God, that because of the lack of vision she wants someone to love her unconditionally. Because love is the one thing she thought she would never obtain. God gave her her husband the love of her life, Josh. God accepted her deal and gave her the type of love she thought she would never obtain. With Josh, she had two daughters Mia and Belle and started their lives in New York, far away from LA where the rest of her family still lived. Midsummer in 2013 Julie, Josh, Mia, and Belle flew from New York to LA for Julie’s cousin’s wedding. For a month or so prior to the trip to LA Julie was experiencing an unbearable amount of stomach discomfort. When she got to LA she knew something was wrong she couldn’t stop vomiting violently and was rushed to the ER. She missed her cousin’s wedding, and while at the most disgusting hospital she had ever been in she received the worst news ever. The doctors knew that there was something seriously wrong and she was sent to have many tests done. A colonoscopy revealed a large mass in her colon. She was later told that mass was cancerous and she received the news that she, in fact, had stage 4 colon cancer. From the second she received her diagnosis her husband Josh researched survival rates and all the statistics associated with stage 4 colon cancer. Rates of survival were in fact extremely slow. Julie had hope that the odds would be different for her after all she has been through. The likelihood of Julie even having colon cancer was 0.08%. Julie developed colon cancer for non-genetic reasons, she had a 99.92% chance of not developing it and she did. Numbers clearly mean nothing. Julie decided from the start not to put faith in percentages that Josh pulled up on the internet but rather put faith in herself, in her body, mind, and spirit. After all, this is her battle to win. 24 hours after Julie received her diagnosis, her heart ached thinking about the grief and loss her girls will feel if she dies and everything she will miss out on if she dies. While talking to Junior, Allison Brown about Julie Yip Williams and her story, she said, “Julie is inspiring to so much more than just people who are battling with cancer. Julie set an example for all people to stay strong and determined throughout everything in their lives.” 

Once the doctors said it was ok, and she received her treatment at UCLA, they moved back to New York, where she would go to NYU Cancer Center for treatments. Once you have cancer the probability of it spreading is much higher, in late December she Julie went to DR AC her oncologist who she loved and felt she had a connection with and received devastating news. The cancer spread to her lungs. She received this news alone since Josh couldn’t come to the checkup with her because he had work. But she needed to be alone. She knew she would only have a few years if anything left and this broke her heart. Cancer wanted to live in her. She finds an overwhelming need to plan how josh will live when she dies, and all the things she needs to do before she dies. She wants to be remembered, she wants her girls to remember her and for people that loved her to fill their ears with stories about their mom. She knew the only thing she could hope for now was time. The inevitable truth that she would be dead sooner than she had hoped begins to consume her. I think one of the most beautiful aspects of this memoir, is how brutally honest Julie is, she had to be honest in her writing, she wants her daughters to remember her innermost feelings. Julie experienced more darkness than light in her battle and she used writing to help her through her battle. Julie begged Josh after receiving this news if he would just let her go, so she could fly somewhere and die alone. She felt like she had fought enough and she was tired of cancer poisoning all the hope she felt. She dreamed that her death would be like her dreams where she is able to see everything, all the things she was deprived of with her poor vision. She will be able to see the world perfectly and she waits for that day to come. She dreams of being able to live a full happy life with josh and her kids away from cancer that has taken over her body. But Josh would never let her just give up and fly away. She later realizes that even though her best effort won’t be enough to beat this cancer, it will show her kids to never give up and try their best at everything. A brave strong person steps out of the darkness and fights for her loved ones and for herself. Julie fought as hard as she could, she knew that the darkness would always find a way to take over but she also knew that she was too strong to give up. 

Throughout Julie’s life, she faced everything head-on. She was strong and didn’t let her lack of vision deprive her of following her dreams. Before, Julie turned thirty-one she had set foot on each of the seven continents alone. She loved the feeling of discovering and found so much joy in being alone. Traveling alone challenged Julie to look past her disabilities she faced them with courage just like everything else in her life. She felt accomplishment when she reached her destinations on her own, it always gave her the greatest high. Traveling was her passion. Along her travels, Julie met new people and she always felt that she could recreate herself and be seen different by these people along her travels. She found her bliss in her travels. She found people who touched her soul and gave her strength to not give up, they taught her different ways of living, thinking, and being. Julie lost that sense of traveling alone when she met Josh and had kids because she knew that they would guide her now. While talking to Allie Kennedy about Julie’s story, she said, “Even though Julie passed away young, she was able to experience so much in her short time on this planet. Julie saw the world and that is all in all inspiring.” But, Cancer was her new journey. Through her wandering in her battle with cancer, she hoped to find that bliss that made her feel alive once. She felt weaker to tackle her new journey alone-- because she had so much more to lose. But the bliss that she hoped to find in her battle with cancer, would bring her back to the bliss she once felt when she traveled the world.